All dressed up for Muni.

4/24/10

5-to Ocean Beach

These buses vibrate like the coin operated beds you see in movies but are never so fortunate to actually encounter. I am on the 5 to Ocean Beach.
Across from me a woman is propped up quite comfortably reading the Chronicle. She is making no attempt to contain herself to one seat. Her cheap convention style book bag draped sloppily onto the adjacent seat. Her bare chubby legs spread open as if she is straddling a bucket of popcorn. She just switched the Chronicle for "Real Simple" magazine. Her purple metallic round hairy potter style spectacles magnifying all sorts of advise she will likely never take. She is wearing white tennis shoes, white tube socks, and very short white shorts. On knee is scabbed and both legs are spotted orange with fake tanning cream. The collar of her white polo is twisting out from under her over-sized blue sweatshirt. Her graying pony tail pulled through the back of her white cap. Loads of jewelry and make-up. She definitely spent time putting this ensemble together. Unfortunately, any chance she had of looking classy is overshadowed by the jiggling of her orange and white legs. Her shorts so short they disappear into the jiggling. Skin meeting skin. She is somebody's grandma. I hope she has a good day.